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Writing Samples
Band 7

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the. International music that is heard everywhere nowadays

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There are many different types of
music
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 in the world today. Some
people
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 believe that traditional
music
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 is more important than international
music
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,
while
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 others think that modern international songs play a greater role in society. In my opinion, both types of
music
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 are important because they serve different purposes. First of all,
music
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 is an essential part of
people
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’s lives. It helps individuals express their emotions and feelings when words are not enough.
In addition
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,
music
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 can reduce stress and help
people
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 relax after a busy day at work or school. It is
also
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 an important element of celebrations, parties, and cultural events, creating a pleasant atmosphere and bringing
people
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 together. Traditional
music
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 plays a significant role in preserving a country’s culture and history. It reflects the customs, values, and experiences of previous generations. By listening to traditional songs,
people
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 can learn more about their ancestors and maintain a connection with their national identity.
Furthermore
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, traditional
music
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 allows countries to introduce their unique culture to the rest of the world.
However
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, international
music
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 is equally important. Nowadays,
people
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 from different countries can easily listen to the same songs and artists.
As a result
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,
music
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 helps connect individuals from different cultures and promotes understanding between nations. International
music
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also
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 allows
people
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 to keep up with modern trends and enjoy a wide variety of musical styles that may not exist in their own country. In conclusion,
music
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 is necessary because it helps
people
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 express emotions, relax, and communicate with others.
Although
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 traditional
music
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 is important for preserving cultural heritage, international
music
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also
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 has great value because it connects
people
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 across the world.
Therefore
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, neither type of
music
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 is more important than the other, and both should be appreciated.

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task response
For task response, you answer both questions clearly. To get a higher score, add one or two more clear examples to show your ideas better.
task response
Your main idea is clear in each part, but some ideas are general. Try to explain one point more deeply, not only state it.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To improve more, use a few more linking words with care, such as 'for example', 'because', or 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, which is good. For a higher score, make the support in each body paragraph a little stronger and more specific.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, so it is easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas stay on topic in all paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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