Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Many people argue that the advent of technology impacted our daily lives in order to overcome a
lot
of issues that we are facing nowadays. In the same way, it also
enhanced the use of technology such
as gadgets for children
. In this
essay, I will discuss two perspectives on how smartphones
influence positive or negative values for children
's behaviour.
It seems like a
new generation always facing a Correct article usage
the
lot
of challenges in their life whether the old people faced during their times. However
, one of the drawbacks of the young generation is the influence of the internet
which perhaps reduces their abilities to enhance communication or networking skills instead
of increasing their skills. On the other hand
, children
might cause an addiction by playing video games or spending their time scrolling social media day to day. As a matter of fact, it might reduce their focus on the current subjects that they learn in school and decrease their moral values since the internet
contains a lot
of violations, pornography, or vandalism activities. This
is a huge challenge that children
need to be burdens
Replace the word
burdensome
of using
their Change preposition
to use
smartphones
a lot
in order to save their lives.
On the contrary
, smartphones
make our lives easier than before since technology has grown rapidly in recent years while
the Internet
reaps a lot
of benefits for users. By giving a good example of using the internet
, children
might be familiar with the world they will face in the next decade. Additionally
, parents as a pivotal role in controlling their children
should be familiar with some applications or websites that can help them to develop their children
's abilities. For example
, Ruang Guru, one of the biggest platforms in Indonesia which used positively by providing children
guidance on their school’s homework or other skills needed.
To sum up
, with, the quick pace of modern society, using smartphones
aims to make life easier especially for children
. Parents should control on how to burdens of using smartphones
to avoid negative impacts on children
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. You've done a good job of setting the stage for your discussion, maintain that clarity throughout.
Body Paragraphs
Use specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the evidence of your points. For instance, mentioning the platform 'Ruang Guru' is excellent; consider adding more such examples for stronger support.
Conclusion
Maintain a balance in discussing both sides of the argument, but also ensure to clearly state your stance on whether it's a positive or negative development in the conclusion. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Coherence
Link your ideas more clearly using cohesive devices (like moreover, on the other hand, and therefore) for a smoother flow. This will help in making your essay more coherent and easy to follow.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and hints at the discussion to follow, showing good control over essay structure.
Content
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both negative and positive impacts of smartphone use among children, demonstrating a well-rounded approach to the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing your viewpoints effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.