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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #face #development
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Nowadays, the use of the internet and online chats is becoming the norm globally. Majority of the companies are choosing online communications rather than meeting
face to face
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face-to-face
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.
This
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 essay will discuss in detail the advantages of
this
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 development. We are in a technological era. Almost all people around the world have a gadget and are familiar with the use of the internet. Now, for some having a face-to-face meeting is frowned upon. Companies are now becoming more diverse in doing their business. Online communication among colleagues inside a company offers lots of benefits. By having the intranet all members of the group can access one project without the need to ask their co-workers. It is efficient, accessible and saves time. It increases the employees' productivity.
For example
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, in a
hospital
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hospital,
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 new
doctors order
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doctor orders
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 can be accessed on the system.
In addition
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, all nursing reports, and patient data can be accessed by the team.
Also
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, by having online meetings, workers don't need to travel and it saves them time and effort.
On the other hand
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, the drawback of using the intranet is it is susceptible to breach of security.
Also
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, breaking down of the system might happen
thus
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 resulting in the delay of work.
To conclude
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, the use of internal communication in a workplace is a great help for the work to be more efficient and accessible,
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moreover
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moreover,
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 it increases the employee's productivity. Though it has its disadvantages. I believe that the positive development far outweighs its disadvantages.
Submitted by Anneya on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a partially complete response to the prompt. It discusses advantages of online communication, but it does not sufficiently address the disadvantages or compare the two. For a more complete response, ensure to address both sides of the argument in equal measure.
coherence cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting points lack depth and development. Make sure to include more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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