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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information about Someland's main exports in 2005, 2015 , and future projectios for 2025

The chart gives information about Someland's main exports in 2005, 2015 , and future projectios for 2025
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The bar chart shows the data about
someland's
Change the capitalization
Someland's
show examples
 main
exports
Use synonyms
 of Meat
products
Use synonyms
, Dairy
Products
Use synonyms
 and International tourism in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2005, 2015 and expected projections in 2025.
Unit
Correct article usage
The unit
show examples
 of measurement is USD billion.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is observed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
milk
products
Use synonyms
exports
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global tourism
exports
Use synonyms
 increased from 2005 to 2015 but only the latter is predicted to increase in future
however
Linking Words
 the animal
products
Use synonyms
 export
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased in the given time period and
estimated
Add a missing verb
is estimated
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 to decrease
further
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Flesh item
exports
Use synonyms
 had reduced from 4 to around 3.5 billion and its
predictions
Fix the agreement mistake
prediction
show examples
 in the next decade is to
further
Linking Words
 decline to a figure of 2. The milk items export rate
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2015 was almost 8 billion which is double the rate
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the decade before when it was approximately
around
Rephrase
apply
show examples
4.5 to 5. World tourism
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 shown an increasing trend for the period considered and
expected
Add a missing verb
is expected
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 to showcase the same fashion in the next decade as well.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words exports, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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