IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

A country should spend money on skills training or vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #money #skills #work #university #education
Nоwadays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
 people believe that vocational
schools
 should be prioritized
upon
Change preposition
over
show examples
 universities when it comes to
supplement
Wrong verb form
supplementing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
funds. I agree with the statement
due to
 several reasons which I would like to enlist below. It is
generaly
Correct your spelling
generally
 known, that theory is undeniably necessary for a future professional, as it builds a fundamental understanding of occupational
pecularities
Correct your spelling
peculiarities
. Continuously, gaining
notion
Fix the agreement mistake
notions
show examples
 related to a specific field, or even several interrelated fields, leads to an
overall
imrovement
Correct your spelling
improvement
 as a competent specialist.
Nevertheless
, the knowledge separate from
practice
 is nothing more than just a theory that would hardly fit into
real
Correct article usage
a real
show examples
 working process. Educational systems of many developing countries underestimate
essence
Add an article
the essence
show examples
 of vocational
schools
, which leads to
graduation
Correct article usage
the graduation
show examples
 of a whole generation of incompetent specialists and unemployment. To continue
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
practice
 is
also
 important
due to
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
to try
Change preposition
of trying
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 profession
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yourself. It is usually at
this
 stage of education, students decide
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 they enjoy specialisation or not. In case they find themselves far from being happy with their future job, it is in their competence to switch faculty.
Lack
Correct article usage
The lack
show examples
 of
efficient
Change the article
an efficient
the efficient
show examples
 number of vocational
schools
 can cause uncertainty and
Correct article usage
an unability
show examples
unability
Correct your spelling
inability
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
identification
Replace the word
identify
show examples
 of students of themselves in
labour
Add an article
the labour
show examples
 market. To picture it vividly,
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
 myself
is
Wrong verb form
am
show examples
 going
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 4th year of
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 bachelor and I am still not sure
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 I want to become a teacher or
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 I am good enough to lay my hand on education,
due to
 lack of proper
practice
. To sum everything up, I believe that vocational
schools
 are worth
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
concentrated attention
,
Correct word choice
and, thus
show examples
thus
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not supposed to be underestimated
relatively
Change the word
relative
show examples
 to universities.
Practice
 is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 process, which helps to gain skills and apply them
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 real cases,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 only
practice
 enables students to choose their future occupation properly.
Submitted by aida.ai2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: