Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It’s nearly impossible to point to just one cause as an answer to the question of why people commit crimes, with many
factors
at play. Some consider criminal motivation to be fueled by socioeconomic disparities, while
others seem to believe having moral deficiencies and lacking impulse control is to blame. I believe that individuals
engaging in criminal behavior
are typically influenced by a combination of both Change the spelling
behaviour
factors
.
Low socioeconomic standing: low income, poor financial literacy, or poverty correlates with a high likelihood of incarceration, with the data proving those who face socioeconomic implications were 20 times more likely to be pushed to commit crime than those of their peers from high-earning families. Although
the poor condition itself is typically not the root cause, it is what stems from it like substance abuse, lack of educational access, and mental health
challenges. Individuals
living in low-income neighborhoods
are more likely to be affected by opioid overdoses, less likely to graduate from high school, and Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
thus
face mental health
challenges. Without having access to quality mental health
therapies their suffering is more likely to last
to the point where it becomes a potential impetus for crime.
There is also
a correlation between family instability and juvenile delinquency, meaning those who experience a turbulent and unstable home life may presumably commit crimes during their youth, even if they don’t, with troubled family histories they are more likely to experience disruptions in their family formation processes which consequently
may coerce them into offending.
On the other hand
, psychological drivers can influence criminal motivation as well, with criminal impulsivity ranking at the top. Impulsive individuals
often struggle to inhibit their immediate urges and desires as well as
prioritize immediate rewards over long-term consequences, even when it comes to committing a crime to get their way. However
, no one is born a violent offender, except for those who have genetic mutations in their brain development, namely in the amygdala- a part of the brain involved in fear, aggression, and social interactions. Studies suggest that amygdala deficits can make individuals
fearless in situations that would normally provoke fear, making them more prone to criminal acts. I believe that nurturing these genetically predisposed individuals
in poor socioeconomic conditions can lead to increased aggression and criminal behavior
.
In conclusion, the motivations behind criminal Change the spelling
behaviour
behavior
are multifaceted, and influenced by both socioeconomic and psychological Change the spelling
behaviour
factors
. While
low socioeconomic standing, marked by poverty, lack of educational opportunities, and inadequate mental health
resources increases the likelihood of criminal acts, psychological drivers such
as impulsivity and genetic predispositions also
play a significant role. Therefore
, I believe it is the interplay between these factors
that shapes criminal behavior
.Change the spelling
behaviour
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider adding a bit more depth to your examples and elaborating how they directly relate to your argument in each paragraph. This will help fully illustrate your points and make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing coherence and cohesion by using more varied linking words and cohesive devices throughout your essay. This will ensure smoother transitions between your ideas and make the essay more fluid to read.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is strong and clearly outlines the two sides of the argument, while also presenting your own opinion concisely.
introduction conclusion present
You have a well-structured conclusion that neatly summarizes your arguments and aligns with your introduction, making your essay feel complete.
task achievement
You've effectively incorporated relevant specific examples that support your main points, making your argument persuasive.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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