IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others, say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone #viewpoints
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Some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of people believe in the importance of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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learning a foreign
language
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 because it is beneficial in workplaces and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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,
Correct word choice
while other
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other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 consider that other aspects
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
Linking Words
 matters, I think
second
Correct article usage
a second
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language
Use synonyms
 brings numerous advantages alongside work opportunities and travel and explain it
further
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. Learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 IS usually considered a main prerequisite to international communication and it is highly valuable in school CURRICULA all around the world. The reason behind
such
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 a decision is that pupils
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
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 to achieve a higher level of readiness to work in multinational workplaces in the future.
Moreover
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,
this
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 can ease the burden of communication barriers when it comes to international interactions which is mostly common in the travel domain.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who work in an international company, more specifically in
customer
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the customer
a customer
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 service center, should know how to
almost fluently
Rephrase
apply
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speak to their international clients.
Linking Words
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
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, if they can not make themselves understood, they will lose their job. Those who believe in other merits of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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language
Use synonyms
, mostly claim that it is
very
Add an article
a very
the very
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 suitable way of decreasing any chance of
mental- oriented
Correct your spelling
mental-oriented
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 diseases
such
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 as
Alzheimer
Change noun form
Alzheimer's
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 in the future. To clarify, there has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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strong scientific proof behind
this
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 claim and (that) absorbing new linguistic materials stimulates some parts of
brain
Add an article
the brain
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 and
defeat
Correct subject-verb agreement
defeats
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 the likelihood of
Alzheimer
Change noun form
Alzheimer's
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 in the future.
To conclude
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, those who presume the importance of learning
second
Add an article
a second
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language
Use synonyms
 is mostly about travel or international workplaces, think of its social aspects the most.
Whereas
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, other
group
Change the wording
groups
show examples
 believe in its health-related repercussions as a serious matter.
Submitted by diana_ft91 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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