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Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others, say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone #viewpoints
Some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of people believe in the importance of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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learning a foreign
language
 because it is beneficial in workplaces and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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,
Correct word choice
while other
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other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 consider that other aspects
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
 matters, I think
second
Correct article usage
a second
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language
 brings numerous advantages alongside work opportunities and travel and explain it
further
. Learning a new
language
 IS usually considered a main prerequisite to international communication and it is highly valuable in school CURRICULA all around the world. The reason behind
such
 a decision is that pupils
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
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 to achieve a higher level of readiness to work in multinational workplaces in the future.
Moreover
,
this
 can ease the burden of communication barriers when it comes to international interactions which is mostly common in the travel domain.
For instance
, those who work in an international company, more specifically in
customer
Add an article
the customer
a customer
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 service center, should know how to
almost fluently
Rephrase
apply
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speak to their international clients.
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
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, if they can not make themselves understood, they will lose their job. Those who believe in other merits of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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language
, mostly claim that it is
very
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a very
the very
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 suitable way of decreasing any chance of
mental- oriented
Correct your spelling
mental-oriented
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 diseases
such
 as
Alzheimer
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Alzheimer's
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 in the future. To clarify, there has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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strong scientific proof behind
this
 claim and (that) absorbing new linguistic materials stimulates some parts of
brain
Add an article
the brain
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 and
defeat
Correct subject-verb agreement
defeats
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 the likelihood of
Alzheimer
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Alzheimer's
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 in the future.
To conclude
, those who presume the importance of learning
second
Add an article
a second
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language
 is mostly about travel or international workplaces, think of its social aspects the most.
Whereas
, other
group
Change the wording
groups
show examples
 believe in its health-related repercussions as a serious matter.
Submitted by diana_ft91 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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