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Band 6.5

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and suggest ways to reduce crime.

#crime #rate #cities #concern #governments
In some cities, the rocketing law-breaking rate becomes a huge concern for governments and it undermines the security and harmony of society. I think the main reasons that motivate
people
 to commit
crimes
 are making money and pursuing adventures.
To begin
 with, criminals who theft and rob are commonly aiming for money.
For example
, shoplifters can easily steal more than 100 dollars that equalize commodities in a few minutes.
In contrast
, a diligent worker usually needs more than half a day to earn 100 bucks.
Although
people
 could earn wages by labouring, theft and robbery are much easier and faster methods rather than legal ways.
Secondly
, some youngsters who enjoy adventures might commit
crimes
,
such
 as dealing drugs and speeding.
For instance
, when a youngster just turns into an adult and starts having financial ability, might seek extreme experience because he does not have a mature mind and ideology. Young criminals should be helped because they do not know the correct behaviours sometimes. In order to reduce crime rates in cities, lifting the economy that helps citizens find a decent-paid job may be a solution. Some
people
 choose a rob that might result from poverty and a job offer may stop them from illegal acts.
Secondly
, educating and teaching teenagers about the hazards of
crimes
 may be beneficial as well. The next generation could be deterred from breaking laws by understanding the severe sentence.
Overall
, there are multiple causes for
people
 to commit
crimes
, but I believe the greed for money and pursuing adventure are the main factors.
However
, I
also
 think the issues may be eliminated by providing job chances and popularizing education.
Submitted by xiaol8616 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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