IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

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Many service-oriented professionals from underdeveloped or developing
countries
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 migrate to developed ones for employment. Indeed these situations cause a brain-drain in their home
country
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. These problems can be solved by the
government
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 by recognizing their valuable work and providing them with good pay.
Firstly
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, nowadays it is a prevalent topic that people seem to be migrating to developed
countries
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 either for work or higher studies.
As a result
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, their own
country
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 loses brain drain and stagnates as a developing
country
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instead
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 of learning their growth internationally,it
also
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 loses highly skilled individuals who can develop their
country
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 with their knowledge and service.
For instance
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, teaching is the only profession that contributes to raising many other professionals, In India it is the most low-paying job which causes individuals to search for better recognition outside. Unequivocally, developing
country
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 is losing talented people. Indeed if a
government
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 takes necessary steps to prevent them from moving abroad.
Such
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 as raising the education standards and increasing the pay-roll
to
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for
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 these service-oriented professionals since they are the one who contributes more to the economic growth.
Furthermore
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, technological advancement for particular studies is well-versed in these developed
countries
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.
For example
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, A doctor can perform a difficult surgery
such
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 as a heart transplant if only all the technological advancement is available, So the
government
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 should spend more on improving these standards in order to retain its own resources. In conclusion, there are more people looking for opportunities and recognition in their profession.
As a consequence
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, they are moving towards the
countries
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 which provide these. But,
this
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 can be achieved in their home
country
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 if some positive measures are taken by the
government
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 and an individual with patriotic thinking of developing their home
country
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the problems and potential solutions associated with the topic. Avoid general statements and be more specific.
task achievement
Develop your main points with clear, relevant examples. Abstract statements should be supported by specific instances or data.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion that addresses the points raised in the essay and summarizes your stance effectively without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and strive for varied sentence structure, as well as the use of different cohesive devices.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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