Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument about whether daughters and sons need to spend their time with their mothers and fathers rather than going outside and playing with friends. Some people believe that it is important
while
Linking Words
others hold the opposite point of view. I agree with both, and in the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss these viewpoints. First and foremost, because of too much work, many parents did not have time to accompany their girls and boys on weekdays.
As a result
Linking Words
, moms and dads want their children to spend their entertainment on the weekend.
In addition
Linking Words
, families desire to build a relationship with their kids. To explain, many parents know that after their boys and girls grow up, they may have fewer opportunities to communicate with them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
daughers
Correct your spelling
daughters
and sons may not prioritize their leisure hours with their mothers and fathers. After students finish their schoolwork, they want to hang out with their friends.
Besides
Linking Words
, young people may have their own interests, their entertainment hours are well spent developing their habits.
That is
Linking Words
to say, they may forget their parents or refuse to enjoy their free days with them. In conclusion, many families want to develop relationships with their kids before their daughters and sons grow up.
However
Linking Words
, boys and girls may lose their leisure days to build connections with their classmates or discover their interests. From my perspective, children need to balance their entertainment time between mothers and fathers, friends, or hobbies.
Hence
Linking Words
, these young people may not regard their decisions in the future.
Submitted by annie5342586 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • relationship
  • communication
  • experience
  • learn
  • opportunity
  • exposure
  • culture
  • perspective
  • development
  • interest
  • skill
  • socialize
  • peer
  • broaden
  • horizon
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: