Some people think that excessive use of smart phones badly affectts teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people suppose that extreme usage of cell
phones
has negative impacts on
literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
show examples
capabilities of the younger. I totally agree with
this
statement because mobile
phones
have
numorous
Correct your spelling
numerous
automatic features and adolescents spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developing their
literacy
skills. First of all, the reason why I agree with the notion is because there are many modern applications and features like spelling
checker
Fix the agreement mistake
checkers
show examples
and voice control. The young
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to write quickly
while
chatting with their friends so they usually use abbreviation, slang and voice chat
instead
of
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
a complete word or paragraph.
Moreover
,
available
Correct article usage
the available
show examples
spelling checker will automatically correct spelling errors.
Thus
,
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
communicate with others through utility applications without using standard words and grammar. It is no
denial
Replace the word
denying
show examples
that the overuse of
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
makes teenagers worse in their
literacy
abilities. Another reason is that teenagers do not have
time
on maturing
Change preposition
to mature
show examples
their reading and
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
skills. With the considerable growth of technology,
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
usually focus on entertainment programs or electronic games and gradually decline their interest in
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
and reading. They spend most of their
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
updating
status
Correct pronoun usage
their status
show examples
instead
of finding something to read and
intensify
Wrong verb form
intensifying
show examples
their reading ability.
According to
Appota statistics in 2016, adolescents spend approximately 80%
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
time
on social networking, chatting and entertainment
while
reading
time
on the phone takes up the lowest proportion.
This
refletcs
Correct your spelling
reflects
the excessive use of
phones
by the young generation and
failure
Correct article usage
the failure
show examples
to enhance their reading and
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
abilities. In conclusion, I
completelt
Correct your spelling
completely
agree with the notion that the
overusage
Correct your spelling
over usage
overuse
of
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
has serious effects on
teenager’s
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers’
show examples
literacy
capability.
Hence
, the use of
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
and networking
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
should be limited and managed
acordingly
Correct your spelling
accordingly
.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay lacks a clear stance on the issue. While you mention that you agree with the statement, your essay does not consistently support this viewpoint throughout. Make sure to clearly state your stance and support it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction but lacks a strong conclusion. In addition, some paragraphs have weak connections, making the essay's overall flow and coherence unclear. Work on linking your ideas and developing a stronger conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: