The pie charts below provide some informaion about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

#informaion #employment #patterns #britain

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The diagrams below compare employment patterns between

men

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and

women

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with different data in two options ( manual and non-manual) in Great Britain in 1992.

It is clear that

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there is a significant difference between

females

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and

males

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. In both gender general labourers and other non-manuals had the lowest proportion and

also

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craft or similar in manual option was approximately equal between

men

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and

women

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. The percentage of craft or similar among

females

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was 27 per

cent

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while

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this

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figure for

males

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was about 26 per

cent

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. ,

Also

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general labourers among

men

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and

women

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were almost equal was 2 and 1 per

cent

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respectively. In the other manual

males

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had the most proportion in comparison to

females

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24 per

cent

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while

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just 3 per

cent

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for

females

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. The percentage of managerial and professional non-manual among

men

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was 36 per

cent

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while

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this

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rate for the opposite gender was 27 per

cent

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. ,

Also

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the figures for clerical or related was very different among both gender 31 per

cent

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for

women

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and just 6 per

cent

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for male.

While

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other non-manual information between

females

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and

males

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almost had equal numbers 9 and 6 per

cent

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respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, females, males, cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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The pie charts below provide some informaion about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

Environmental problems should be solved by the government instead of individuals and private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as sky diving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree?