Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#art #school #students #performance #subjects #schools

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Sometimes, there was a controversial debate about compulsory creative lessons and why

this

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subject is an indispensable part of some top-notch universities. I absolutely agree with the application of

art

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lectures in the curriculum because studying

art

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can develop both hemispheres of the brain and increase the levels of scrutiny and focusing capacity.

To begin

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, studying

art

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could improve the intelligence of learners, which leads to higher academic performance.

In particular

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, students could stimulate their innovative capability by doing new activities,

such

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as extreme sports or sightseeing in distinctive

art

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galleries, just to find new inspirations after a long period of working hard. These rest periods

also

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help them contemplate the

overall

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landscape and find an optimal way to do their assignments.

Additionally

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, from these exciting experiences, apprentices have more inspiration and better innovative capability, which stimulates both hemispheres of the brain, leading to better cognitive balance. In

further

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explanation, these people could use learning materials integrating visual and auditory, which led to better memories and deeper understanding in other courses. Some statistical reports, which were conducted by reputed universities, indicated that cadets with both sides developed hemispheres could have higher scores in almost all the subjects than most undergraduates.

Consequently

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, these professors believe that

art

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should be obligatory in schools.

Additionally

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, the artwork-producing process requires a high level of scrutiny and focusing capacity to complete a product accomplishment. In order to complete a masterpiece, learners must remove surrounding distractions to improve their concentration and avoid minor mistakes because it is hard to repair their recent errors.

Hence

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, these people who studied

art

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could have better performance

due to

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their own better concentration, which makes them avoid mistakes.

Lastly

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, well-rounded graduates could receive benefits if they follow one of these majors in their universities including marketing, design and architecture, which helps them receive more priority from their recruiters.

To conclude

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art

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has been proven that a complementary part of the curriculum as multi-skilled students have the ability to learn new things and make better outcomes with fewer mistakes.

Submitted by lenam2k1 on Tue Sep 12 2023

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task achievement

Your task response is strong and relevant. Ensure you explicitly mention 'obligation' in both introduction and conclusion to fully address that part of the prompt.

coherence cohesion

While your ideas are clear and well-organized, occasional improvements in sentence structure can enhance clarity. Shorter, more concise sentences can help articulate complex ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Using more varied and precise vocabulary and avoiding repetition of phrases like 'better performance' will enrich your text. Aim for a more diverse lexical range to improve comprehension and engagement.

task achievement

You provided a comprehensive response with compelling explanations and relevant examples, which demonstrated a solid understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing the overall structure and ensuring the reader understands your position effectively.

coherence cohesion

Main ideas are well-supported with logical reasoning, which strengthens the argument of making art obligatory in schools.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive development
Critical thinking
Motor skills
Creativity
Perspectives
Emotional outlet
Cultural appreciation
Global awareness
Historical art movements
Spatial intelligence
Curriculum overload
Non-competitive
Exposure
Cross-disciplinary benefits

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Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it's always better to live in the rented accomodation. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it.

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? what solutions can you suggest?

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?