IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that the best way to reduce traffic accidents is by severely punishing drivers,
while
Linking Words
 others think there are other ways to reduce traffic collisions. Even though the most common measure to reduce transport accidents is by severely punishing people with fines or, in the worst cases, with the withdrawal of their driving licence, I believe that the best approach to limit car crashes is by raising awareness among the population. On the one hand, it is certainly a way to control drivers by intimidating them. If these sanctions did not exist, there would be many who would not respect speed limits or traffic signals. These sanctions are definitely very useful against less wealthy groups.
For example
Linking Words
, families who earn 3,000 euros per month cannot pay high fines. And for the richer population, they can face severe sanctions as the withdrawal of their driving licence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another action to reduce car accidents is by raising alertness, especially among younger generations, because it is difficult to change adults’ views or habits. Most of the time,
this
Linking Words
 awareness comes from the government. It could be through campaigns or advertisements.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the most effective ones was the campaign to make drivers wear seat belts. In 2001, France’s road safety authority revealed a shocking campaign with victims’ testimonies and strong slogans
such
Linking Words
 as “Front or rear, the dead person’s seat is the one without it.” Nowadays, it seems unthinkable not to wear a seat belt when driving.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the harsh approach of doing it is quite effective, I believe that the best way to educate people about the dangers and prevent car crashes is by raising awareness.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Balance the view of punishment with more on how to raise safety in other ways. Do not say one group is better because of money. Make ties to the main idea.
structure
Use a clear plan: intro, view 1, view 2, your view, conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and link ideas with simple connectives.
facts
Give more general, not country-specific facts. Use safe, simple examples that show cause and effect on safety.
stance
Clear stance on the issue and a direct conclusion.
example
Includes a real example (seat belt campaign) to support points.
structure
The essay has a logical flow with an ending that restates the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: