IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates four
places
Use synonyms
 visited by
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
Australia
Use synonyms
, namely
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
show examples
, library,
theatre
Use synonyms
, and
cinema
Use synonyms
. In detail, it presents the proportion of three kinds of
people
Use synonyms
 coming to each
Use synonyms
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
 including
born
Correct pronoun usage
those born
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
, new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in
English-Speaking
Correct your spelling
English-speaking
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
, and new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
Australia
Use synonyms
's residents coming to
Cinema
Use synonyms
 is the highest among the four
places
Use synonyms
 with more than 50%,
orderly
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by the figure of
people
Use synonyms
 who come to
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
, zoo, and
theatre
Use synonyms
. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 visiting
Use synonyms
theatre
Correct article usage
the theatre
show examples
 is the lowest at about 15%. In each
groups
Change to a singular noun
group
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 immense difference.
People
Use synonyms
 who are born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 prefer visiting
cinema
Use synonyms
 to other
places
Use synonyms
, especially
theatre
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in other
countries
Use synonyms
 tend to
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
visit both
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
cinema
Fix the agreement mistake
cinemas
show examples
.
Submitted by viethoangnguyen0611 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words places, people, australia, theatre, cinema, migrants, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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