Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals argue that obtaining an academic education is the most effective route to achieving success in life,
while
Linking Words
others disagree that
this
Linking Words
phenomenon is no longer true. In my opinion, I disagree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one hand, in the past, our industries were not developed so if we want to get professional jobs
such
Linking Words
as architecture or engineering, we must go to a
university
Use synonyms
. At that time, people who went to a
university
Use synonyms
meant success, and many folks thought that people might be wealthy.
For example
Linking Words
, In South Korea, after the Korean War, most facilities were destroyed,
as well as
Linking Words
the nation's houses.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they need special
skills
Use synonyms
for their country so that they must go to a
university
Use synonyms
. So, at that time, if they graduated from the academy, it would lead to success because of that period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, today, our industries are developed, and many jobs are generated;
as a result
Linking Words
, we do not go to a
university
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can choose institutes like technical colleges or technical Secondary schools which learn plenty of
skills
Use synonyms
in those facilities.
For instance
Linking Words
, some studies show that in Germany, most high school pupils do not consider going to an academy, because they can get special
skills
Use synonyms
in their schools or they go to technical academies, which can get those
skills
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if they already have unique abilities and Secondary institution graduate certification, many companies want those students, which is beneficial for their company. In conclusion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
topic. In the past, most people believed that going to an educational institution was the best way to succeed.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays, because of industrial development, going to a
university
Use synonyms
is an unnecessary thing. So, we should think about our future and choose wisely, and that will be advantageous thing our future lives.
Submitted by livewire53 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the task by discussing both views. However, your opinion should have been stated more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good overall coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is well-maintained, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is sufficient for conveying your ideas. However, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to add more depth and sophistication to your arguments.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good, with few instances of errors. However, make sure to pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to further enhance your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: