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Band 7

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To wat extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #form #discipline #wat
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The question of whether violent punishment is the greatest way to moderate the youth is a globalise issue that has been debated widely. In recent years, many families have controlled their children by punishing them
such
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 as smacking, hitting, scolding and more. In
this
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 ,essay I will argue whether I agree
this
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 crucifying is the best way of corrections through my point of view. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement. Currently, we all are living in a modern era where globalization and technological advancements become more common. Many cultures and traditions slightly faded as time flew.
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, there is one common thing which never fades, smacking your own child as a moderation.
This
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 cruel punishment has never been developed in other cultures. As I am a younger generation, I once experienced
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 discipline I understood how hard and painful it was and I don't think it is the best form of punishment.
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, I talked to my family about how hard to go through as a kid, They understood my feelings
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 they never did that again. From my perspective, I want to encourage the parents, guardians and teachers that there are many forms of moderation which are more efficient than smacking and hitting. Our society could be more pleasant if those violent crucifies were gone. Many children don't understand why they are punished, we should come up with better plans
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 as teaching, telling, demonstrating and so on. These disciplines are way effective more than using violence. As we conclude, it's clear that we should encourage every family to banish those cruel punishments as a correction. It is better for both parents and children to find a common ground for talking and solving all of the problems. Our globalization world could be a better place for everyone ,especially the youth.
Submitted by munichpupil115 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the question and provides a clear opinion on the issue. Develop and support ideas with relevant examples and evidence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined and should effectively introduce and summarize the main points of the essay. Focus on using transition words and phrases to improve the organization of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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