In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

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It is estimated that in the coming days, online banking will take over the position of traditional one, and cash is predicted to

be vanished

Change to the active voice

vanish

have vanished

show examples

. I tend to find myself among those who agree with

this

Linking Words

mindset which might be disapproved of by some residents

due to

Linking Words

lack of knowledge. It seems rational to accept that paper money will be replaced by digital payment techniques. One explanation to support

this

Linking Words

point of view can be its impact on protecting the environment. To illustrate, it is contended that a great number of trees have been cut down to provide the central bank of the territories with sufficient sources for cash production.

Therefore

Linking Words

, implementing a digital payment not only would save these trees, but it can

also

Linking Words

lead to alleviating global warming indirectly. Another justification is owing to its security

as well as

Linking Words

convenience for users. It means that with the help of

this

Linking Words

technology, they can transfer a great amount of money which used to be a risky option with cash,

thus

Linking Words

it has made it far easier to make big trades.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some reasons that have been put forth by opponents of

this

Linking Words

aspect of technology. They posit that some of the society members are not familiar with the process of using it.

For instance

Linking Words

, a great deal of the residents in deprived areas, which include the majority of the territories, are struggling with basic needs for their lives,

thus

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

a facility not only is inappropriate for them but

also

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can lead to more financial side effects. Another reason is the growing rate of internet hackers and online fraud which has brought about challenges to the user.

However

Linking Words

, I tend to disapprove of

this

Linking Words

mindset as with some initial investments and improving security systems these hurdles can be mitigated. In conclusion, the more the residents of communities adopt technology, the more they can save their time and the more promotion they can experience in life.

samirakasraee72Wed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a well-rounded response to the task, tackling both the replacement of cash with digital payments and reasons why some people might oppose this change. To enhance your score, consider adding more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

While your ideas are clearly presented, there are some minor coherence issues. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly to the next. Using more transitional phrases can help improve the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion summarises your viewpoints well. However, try to make it slightly more reflective by reiterating the key points and implications discussed in the body.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly indicating your stance.

task achievement

You provide solid reasons for both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion succinctly wraps up your argument, reinforcing your main point without redundancy.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cashless society
digital payment systems
financial institutions
transparency
illegal activities
privacy reasons
digital trace
technologically challenged
cybersecurity threats
technical failures
cultural attachments
resistant to change

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