A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter •describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team •summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts •say how you think the company should spend the money

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in order to give you feedback about the project of sponsoring from your company to our community.

Firstly

Linking Words

, as far as sponsoring the sports team is concerned, you will help a lot of children for two years, leading to encouraging them to realise their dreams.

For example

Linking Words

, you can afford new game shirts owing to the fact that they would have access to competition.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are benefits to paying for two open-air concerts,

firstly

Linking Words

, the city doesn’t have many exhibitions and you will help to improve the local artist community, and

then

Linking Words

, people complain about the missing activities during the summer.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, I would like to suggest that you could spend your money on both activities.

For example

Linking Words

, one year of supporting children and one concert. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is the most equal analysis. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any

further

Linking Words

information. Kind regards, Mr Van

tony.vantrooWed Sep 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the letter is clear and follows a standard format. However, the greeting and closing require improvement to maintain formality and politeness. The essay lacks a single main idea per paragraph, leading to unclear organization of ideas.

task achievement

The response addresses both options presented in the prompt and provides reasons for each. However, the essay could demonstrate a stronger grasp of the requirements by clearly stating a recommendation for how the money should be spent. Additionally, the tone should be more formal and appropriate for a letter to a company.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

166 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?