IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #men #women
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It is prevalent among
people
Use synonyms
 to accept tertiary education in the contemporary world,
while
Linking Words
 certain part of
people
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 argue that
both
Use synonyms
 genders should be segregated in the university system to enhance the quality of education, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion since males and females should cooperate with each other to foster our society become a better environment.
To begin
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 with, splitting
both
Use synonyms
 males and females in our educational system may impact significantly their multifaceted
skills
Use synonyms
due to
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 the fact that they are not able to absorb specific knowledge from each other.
For instance
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, the study has shown that men are more inclined to make decisions, ensuring they can appropriately play a core role in a group.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, women are more proficient in interpersonal
skills
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, which can cultivate them to possess more patience and interactive
skills
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 in their societal fields.
This
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 concretely proves that
both
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 genders are perfectly associated with each party, if we separate them for the first time, things are not going to be processed fluently in many perspectives.
However
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, if
both
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 males and females work with each other harmoniously, they can undoubtedly make great strides in their professional regions
as a result
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. Several enterprises are seeking
both
Use synonyms
 sexes
while
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 recruiting,
this
Linking Words
 is because the employees can create a maximum production when they collaborate effectively with each other by grasping the different knowledge. To cite an example, researchers found out that
people
Use synonyms
 who graduated from mono-sex schools show rusty
skills
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 in communicating with
people
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 in their workplaces.
Thus
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, fairly arranged workers' gender will benefit the companies with not only the atmosphere but
also
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 the
overall
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 productivity.
To sum up
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,
although
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 it might be slightly effective to manage everything if separate them, I still believe that segregating them in college is not a proper approach as they can bring various pros
while
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 they are working together.
Submitted by s0210116 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is structured in a clear and logical manner, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main point, with supporting sentences that are directly related to the main point.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully by providing more detailed examples and evidence. This will help to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a greater depth of understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • single-gender education
  • coeducational
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • social dynamics
  • learning styles
  • cognitive differences
  • participation rates
  • diverse workplaces
  • educational outcomes
  • psychological implications
  • empirical evidence
  • inclusivity
  • reinforcement of gender roles
  • gender-segregated
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