IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how many tourists visited
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a particular
caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
show examples
island
Use synonyms
 over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 course of 7 years starting from 2010. In general,the
Correct quantifier usage
number of caribbean
show examples
caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
show examples
island
Use synonyms
 visitor had
Add an article
an increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 period.
addiyionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 had
decreses
Correct your spelling
decreases
decreased
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other places. In 2010,
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 0.3
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 study to 2011 it
raises up
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 to 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 constant in 2013.
However
Linking Words
, in 2014,slowly raised to 1
millon
Correct your spelling
million
.
whereas
Linking Words
, in 2017 it suddenly
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up to 2
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 in 2010
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 0.8
million
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 rapidly in 2011,
Moreover
Linking Words
,in 2013 it debris stable
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
 three years but in 2016 it slowly down to 1.3
million
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,in 2017 it soared to 2
million
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 in 2010
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 1
million
Use synonyms
 but in 2012 it leapt to 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and it wildly surged to 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2014,
while
Linking Words
 in between two
decades
Add a comma
,decades
show examples
 it significantly leapt
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 3.5
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words island, visitors, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "leap" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: