IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The line graphs illustrate the inflation in the percentage of households with electrical utilities and housework done in hours in the country from the years 1920 to 2019. There are two graphs, the first is for the proportion of households with electrical appliances and the second is for the amount of hours of housework per week in a particular country. The
house
Correct your spelling
housework
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 works
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning. The
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices are
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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. From 1920, the utility of
fridge
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fridges
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 skyrocketed dramatically.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
vacuum
Correct article usage
the vacuum
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 cleaner
raised
Add a missing verb
is raised
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 gently.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all of the households in the country
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started using vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 and
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 in the year 2000. The washing machine is the one that fluctuated over the period.
While
Linking Words
 others experienced only
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
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 in percentage, around 75 per cent of houses contained washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 in 2019. Apart from ownership of electronic goods, the number of working hours in the nation deflated gradually.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, electrical appliances played a major role. These made housekeeping
as
Change preposition
apply
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less time-consuming.
In addition
Linking Words
, about
four-fifth's
Change noun form
four-fifths
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 of the time scale is saved in 2019 than in 1920.
Though
Correct word choice
However
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, it clearly represents the enormous relationship between the working period and electrical utilities.

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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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