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social media is promoting communication between people . do you agree or disagree ?

#media #communication #people
In
this
 social media era, it has become apparent that
communication
 among individuals has improved. I partially agree with
this
 fact.
To begin
 with, social media has drifted a lot of relationships apart. Some family bonds are lost as the members rarely speak to one another.
This
 is because life has become busy and when every member returns home,
instead
 of engaging with one another, they rather spend long hours chatting with virtual friends or following
newsfeed
Fix the agreement mistake
newsfeeds
show examples
 about current trends in the name of wanting to keep up with modern trends. A survey conducted by my class teacher revealed that some children feel
happy
Correct word choice
happier
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 at school than at home because they have real people to talk to and play with but they do not get these at home as their parents are mostly busy pressing their phones rather than spending some quality time and giving attention to their kids.
On the other hand
,
advent
Add an article
the advent
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 of mobile devices has closed the
communication
 gap between members who are in different nations. People are able to reach their loved ones at their own convenience through messages, phone calls or video calls almost instantly.
This
 is as opposed to the past where it took several months to deliver a message across nations through posting. To add to
this
, any form of news happening in a particular place reaches the whole world through news outlets
in
Change preposition
apply
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at most hours. These illustrations undoubtedly highlight the progress made in our communications.
To sum up
,
although
 social media has obviously made our
communication
 better, it has
also
 bridged the relationship gap
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
communication
 in some family relationships.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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