IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.
#amount #six #consumer #goods #four #european #countries
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of money in
GBP
Use synonyms
 spent by four European countries on six different types of goods.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Britain ranks first on the total of money spent on every type of product,
while
Linking Words
 Italy and France are the second and
third,
Linking Words
whereas
Linking Words
 Germany is the least.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph, people from the UK spent almost £1,000 on the six products. They spend approximately
GBP
Use synonyms
 170 on photographic film and toys and around 160
GBP
Use synonyms
 on CDs and perfumes,
while
Linking Words
 they only spend 155 pounds on tennis racquets and personal stereos. The Italians’ expenditures are a slightly different trend, they spend the most at
GBP
Use synonyms
 157 on toys and the least on stereos
while
Linking Words
 £155 is purchased on movies, CDs, fragrances and tennis equipment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the French’s expense is on film the most at £165, a little less than that amount is spent on toys and CDs,
whereas
Linking Words
 they spend roughly 146 pounds on the rest of the products. German,
however
Linking Words
, purchases all items at around the same amount at
GBP
Use synonyms
 150 and gently under.
Submitted by patinyajaithan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gbp with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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