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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #australia #malaysia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table shows
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
 and Malaysian
population
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2002. It
presents
Wrong verb form
is presented
show examples
 in millions and
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 have
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
number
Use synonyms
 of total
population
Use synonyms
, especially, Malaysia. There are similar
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of male and female
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
. Their birth rate
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 over time. The
number
Use synonyms
 of elderly
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 with a significant
differrence
Correct your spelling
difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia.
Number
Use synonyms
 of
population
Use synonyms
 in Australia
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 similar to Malaysia in 1980, but in 2002, Malaysian
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to approximately 24
millions
Change to singular
million
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 people.
Male
Fix the agreement mistake
Males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 are in the same proportion around 50% in
both
Use synonyms
 years and they stay the same over the period.
Rate
Correct article usage
The rate
show examples
 of birth decreases in
both
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
. Malaysia
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% ,
while
Linking Words
 Australia slightly decrease
0.1
Change preposition
by 0.1
show examples
%.
Submitted by kannu_boat on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, both, countries, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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