IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You will transfer your work place to another and you should write a letter to your boss - explain why you would like to move - request your documents - explain your transfer date

#transfer #work #place #boss #move #request #documents #date
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Dear Mr.Joshi, Hope
your
Change the pronoun
you
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 are doing well.I am writing
this
 letter in order to make a request for my job transformation
due to
 some personal circumstances. Actually,the reason behind
this
 decision is my family's concern.As my husband got a relevant job in the city of Toronto it would be better for me to change my workplace because we have
this
 company branches in Toronto
also
 so I can easily restart my work over there.
Moreover
, it would be great for my kids for their educational purposes as urban cities have a lot of opportunities for children to grow up.
However
, it will be difficult for me to leave
this
 kind of environment at the workplace but I should be responsible for my family which would be imperative for me.
Therefore
,I appreciate it if you could understand my concern and please me with a positive response. I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Yours Sincerely, Preet
Submitted by kaurbhagwant95 on

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Structure
Ensure each paragraph serves a clear purpose, starting with an introduction, followed by a body explaining your situation, and ending with a conclusion or request.
Detail
Consider adding more specific details about your transfer, such as potential roles or departments in the Toronto branch you're interested in, to demonstrate thorough planning and consideration.
Presentation
To enhance readability and professional appearance, consider formatting your letter with correct indentation and spacing, particularly between paragraphs.
Content
Your letter effectively communicates the reason for the job transfer and makes a polite request for the transfer and related documents, which satisfies the task requirements.
Tone
You maintain a respectful and professional tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for a letter to a boss.
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