IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this?

In recent eras, there has been an ongoing debate related to the modern education system where
students
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 are given an entire
year
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 once they finish
school
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 and before they are enrolled in a
University
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 system.
To begin
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 with,
this
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 is the most popular
concept
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 in Western schools where
students
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 completing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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high
school
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 get a
year
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 off, and
due to
Linking Words
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this
Add a comma
this,
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 a number of drawbacks arise. The foremost disadvantage of
this
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concept
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 is that plenty of
time
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 gets wasted
therefore
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 the
students
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 finish their college graduation with a delay of one
year
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, and
for
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this
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 reason, they might miss some great
career
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 opportunities.
On the contrary
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 Universities in Asian countries never accept the enrollment of a student if there is an academic gap, as the curriculum and education planners consider the "
year
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 off"
concept
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 unsafe for the
career
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 of
students
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.
For instance
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, an internal survey from an organisation reveals that the employees who got their graduation from an Asian
university
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 got ample opportunities and
time
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 to search for jobs
whereas
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 the professionals who took a gap after completing high
school
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 faced some difficulties in the job market once they got their
university
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 degree.
However
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,
this
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concept
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 can be beneficial for
students
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 who are confused or unable to decide which
career
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 path or
university
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 course they should follow once they complete their high
school
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. Having some
time
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 after high
school
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 can allow the
students
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 to make a decision without any hurry or influence. They can get to try different professions as an intern or
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 up a casual job in an industry they are interested in.
Moreover
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, they can plan or analyse the course options and universities around the globe, as having enough
time
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 will allow them to do their research and connect with the professionals who are already working in the industry they aspire
as
Change preposition
to as
show examples
 a future
career
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. A prime example can be taken from a study conducted by a local news program where working professionals who took a
year
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 off after
school
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 and got exposure to different industries by doing internships and casual jobs were able to decide what course they wanted to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 themselves and after graduation, they all successfully landed a job with no regrets of the choices they made in the past.
To conclude
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, a
year
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 off is a great
concept
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 for
students
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 who are unsure about their interests or the field they want to work in,
however
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, it can
also
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 lead to a waste of
time
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 which can indirectly affect the
career
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 of many
students
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 in a detrimental way.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to your thesis statement or central argument. Although your points are clear, linking them back to your thesis can help provide greater cohesion.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples or data to illustrate your points. While your use of surveys and studies is good, additional specific details can further reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and the main points that will be discussed.
task achievement
The use of examples, like internal surveys and studies, effectively supports the points you make.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadening horizons
  • personal development
  • global issues
  • employability
  • resume
  • competitive edge
  • volunteering
  • internships
  • work placements
  • independence
  • problem-solving skills
  • maturity
  • procrastination
  • financial means
  • accumulating debt
  • academic skills
  • formal education
  • readjust
  • rigors
What to do next:
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