IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The lower chart depicted the percentage change of International students share among university graduates in different Canadian`s provinces between 2001 and 2006.

The lower chart depicted the percentage change of International students share among university graduates in different Canadian`s provinces between 2001 and 2006.
#percentage #change #students #university #graduates #canadian`s #provinces
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The lower chart depicted the percentage change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 International
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
 share among university graduates in different
Canadian`s
Change noun form
Canadian
show examples
 provinces between 2001 and 2006. It can be clearly seen from the data that the most popular was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Brunswick`s university for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both ages, there had been
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 12% in 2006 and approximately 8% in 2001.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the least
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 place was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Ontario,
Change preposition
in which
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
International graduates reached just
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5 per cent in 2006, and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 3 per cent in 2001.
Also
Linking Words
, we can see that only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three counties could pass the 10% mark in 2006, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British Columbia.
Whereas
Linking Words
, none of the regions in 2001 could hit the target of 5%, except
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Quebec. In general, in 2006
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign learners
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 more actively involved in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canadian`s
Change noun form
Canadian
show examples
 education than the pupils in 2001.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depicted" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: