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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia.

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia.
#two #show #status #populations #canada #australia
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The pie charts demonstrate the family situation of the citizens of
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
 in 1999 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
 the highest proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 is married and the majority of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 is single. And the small similarities between other features
such
Linking Words
 as widowed, divorced and separated but with legal marriage in both countries. Compared to
Canada
Use synonyms
, in
Australia
Use synonyms
, most of the
population
Use synonyms
 is married (53%)
while
Linking Words
 the
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
 who never married was 29% in 1999. The smallest percentage of the Marital Status Of
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 was same-sex marriage and
consistedof
Correct your spelling
consisted of
1% in 1999.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Canada
Use synonyms
 has another situation where the total percentage of single individuals is 46% and legally married is 41%.
While
Linking Words
 these parts differ from each other, features
such
Linking Words
 as widowed, divorced and separated but not divorced are almost the same either in
Canada
Use synonyms
 or
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by filwayy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, canada, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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