IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia.

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia.
#two #show #status #populations #canada #australia
The pie charts demonstrate the family situation of the citizens of
Australia
 and
Canada
 in 1999 and 2000.
Overall
 the highest proportion of the
population
 in
Australia
 is married and the majority of the
population
 in
Canada
 is single. And the small similarities between other features
such
 as widowed, divorced and separated but with legal marriage in both countries. Compared to
Canada
, in
Australia
, most of the
population
 is married (53%)
while
 the
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
 who never married was 29% in 1999. The smallest percentage of the Marital Status Of
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
population
 was same-sex marriage and
consistedof
Correct your spelling
consisted of
1% in 1999.
On the other hand
,
Canada
 has another situation where the total percentage of single individuals is 46% and legally married is 41%.
While
 these parts differ from each other, features
such
 as widowed, divorced and separated but not divorced are almost the same either in
Canada
 or
Australia
.
Submitted by filwayy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, canada, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: