IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #interaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common impression that smartphones are considered a factor damaging to communication ways with
people
 . I fully agree with
this
 statement and my perspectives are provided in
further
 detail in
this
 essay. It is evident that social life can be reflected in greetings in real emotionally,
while
 smartphones allow
people
 to contact each other virtually without facing. Socializing in virtual networks replaces communicating by greeting with a handshake.
For instance
, individuals approve the mobile devices as a suitable way to hear from their relatives or friends
instead
 of seeing or visiting them. The mobile interaction may put the distance in the relationship. Even if there are situations in which friends can forget their faces actually. Meanwhile, using social networks can allow humans to make numerous fake accounts at the same time. In
this
 way, it is seen that some
people
 cheat others to use them for their purposes. In 1970, in The UK a watchman who worked at school introduced himself as a bank manager and convicted other
people
 from different countries as though he had helped them to run a business.
Consequently
 , genuine
people
 investigated a great deal amount of funds in his bank account and lied in the end.
To sum up
, using mobile phones destroys interactions with emotional greetings and genuine feelings among human beings. In the end,
people
 tend to not believe other feelings or emotions
due to
 cheating on fake accounts and controlling a social life in reality.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limit
  • face-to-face communication
  • social media
  • loss of real connections
  • distract
  • engaging
  • empathy
  • personal connection
  • addictive
  • isolation
  • enhance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: