These days it is so much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
During the past
decades
chances of travelling have increased Add a comma
decades,
due to
the impact of globalisation in
our Change preposition
on
life
. The majority of folks often Fix the agreement mistake
lives
believes
that there aren’t any disadvantages Change the verb form
believe
about
Change preposition
to
this
development, while
other opine
that Change the wording
another opine
other opines
this
evolution led us to major issues that I will discuss in depth in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, travelling nowadays is way easier than in the past, where moving from a
country to another for tourism was considered a real privilege that only Correct determiner usage
one
people
with a strong economic situation could achieve. To begin
with, There is a vast range of tickets with different inclusion
and prices in order to reach Fix the agreement mistake
inclusions
people
with all budgets and needs. Then
, there are
new ways to travel as transports evolved too: Wrong verb form
were
airplanes
, trains, cars and so on… overseas Change the spelling
aeroplanes
travels
in the past were possible just by boat, and it used to take months to reach another continent, Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
while
nowadays just a few hours. Furthermore
, travelling has increased the level of cultured people
, it is known that exploring new cultures helps to push the boundaries of knowledge and leads people
to be more curious and open with their minds, this
is one of the reason
why Change to a plural noun
reasons
people
from the past were full of prejudices.
On the other hand
, there are people
who are grateful to
Change preposition
for
this
change,
but still think negatively about the consequences, Remove the comma
apply
such
as pollution and consequently
climate change. It is known that airplanes, trains and all the
Correct article usage
apply
transportations
are a danger Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
for
the climate Change preposition
to
that is
a matter that we are desperately trying to solve. In my opinion
we should look for measures that still allow us to travel but in a more sustainable way, I think governments are looking for solutions in order to solve Add a comma
opinion,
this
issue.
To conclude
, while
there are certainly disadvantages to this
development, and governments should prioritise them, I firmly believe that the advantages are way more.Submitted by ginevra.ciaranfi2003 on
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task response
Pay more attention to paraphrasing the prompt in the introduction. Ensure that all body paragraphs are focused on the advantages and disadvantages of easier travel, as per the prompt. Use more topic sentences to clearly present each main point in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer and more logical flow of ideas in each paragraph. Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
