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Writing Samples
Band 8

Bar chart. The bar chart illustrates information about how two age groups of adults participate in different clubs by showing the number of people.

Bar chart. The bar chart illustrates information about how two age groups of adults participate in different clubs by showing the number of people.
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The bar chart illustrates information about how two age groups of adults participate in different clubs by showing the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two trends visible: arts and crafts with the "Other" group is more popular among the young generation,
while
Linking Words
 historical club is more attended by the elderly. The rest of the clubs have the same or similar
number
Use synonyms
 of participants. There are 60 young members in the arts and crafts in comparison with the
people
Use synonyms
 who are 45–65 showing three times less attendance. The group "Other" has nearly as many young
people
Use synonyms
 as arts, but the
number
Use synonyms
 of elders is halved.
By contrast
Linking Words
, history club appeal more old generation showing a double
number
Use synonyms
 of old
people
Use synonyms
. Archeology, keeping fit, and social hobbies are popular among both age group. Archeology has exactly the same members—45
people
Use synonyms
. Rest two have approximately the same trend: both clubs are slightly more popular among those who are 20–30.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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