IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays men’s sport is given far more attention in the3 society then women sports. What are the reasons and do you think is it a positive or negative situation?

#men’s #sport #attention #society #women #sports #situation
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Even in
modern
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the modern
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word
Correct your spelling
world
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, there is a misconception that
prioritize
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prioritizes
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 men’s
sport
from
Change preposition
over
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women
 and give them more attention
as a result
.
This
 essay will untangle the causality of
this
 idea and I think it is not fair.
This
 is sad but true that sports and rigorous exercise
are typically connect
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are typically connected
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 to men’s world since ancient days.
For instance
, in Greek, and prehistoric cultures most of
Gods
Correct article usage
the Gods
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 and symbols related to power
represented
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are represented
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 in
man
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man's
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gender
.
Moreover
, these metaphoric creatures usually possess extraordinary power related to saving human lives and
this
 power
achieved
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is achieved
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from
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through
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 rigorous exercise and
sport
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sports
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 activities.
While
, at the same time their wives used to take the responsibility of upbringing their child and they were mostly occupied with households.
Consequently
, the concept of physical activities and men show strong connection. I personally reckon
this
believe
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belief
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 is faulty and there is nothing positive about it. To clarify, the idea
convey
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conveys
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 the exact meaning of
gender
 discrimination
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
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women
 have always fought for their primitive rights against
gender
 bias and
prejudice
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prejudiced
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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.
As a result
, they deserve more attention and encouragement in
Correct article usage
the sport
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 realm to show their abilities. To clarify,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 events bring numerous opportunities for
women
 to represent and prove their strength and defeat old stereotypes related to
men
Change noun form
men's
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 sports.
To conclude
, the
gender
 prejudice behind
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 is rooted in our history and it is absolutely an ordeal to change the game
in
Change preposition
on
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women
’s side.
Also
,
women
 need more space to change
this
 perception and validate their potential strength.
Submitted by diana_ft91 on

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