IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays men’s sport is given far more attention in the3 society then women sports. What are the reasons and do you think is it a positive or negative situation?

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Even in
modern
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the modern
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word
Correct your spelling
world
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, there is a misconception that
prioritize
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prioritizes
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 men’s
sport
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from
Change preposition
over
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women
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 and give them more attention
as a result
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will untangle the causality of
this
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 idea and I think it is not fair.
This
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 is sad but true that sports and rigorous exercise
are typically connect
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are typically connected
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 to men’s world since ancient days.
For instance
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, in Greek, and prehistoric cultures most of
Gods
Correct article usage
the Gods
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 and symbols related to power
represented
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are represented
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 in
man
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man's
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gender
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.
Moreover
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, these metaphoric creatures usually possess extraordinary power related to saving human lives and
this
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 power
achieved
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is achieved
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from
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through
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 rigorous exercise and
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 activities.
While
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, at the same time their wives used to take the responsibility of upbringing their child and they were mostly occupied with households.
Consequently
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, the concept of physical activities and men show strong connection. I personally reckon
this
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believe
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belief
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 is faulty and there is nothing positive about it. To clarify, the idea
convey
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conveys
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 the exact meaning of
gender
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 discrimination
while
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,
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apply
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women
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 have always fought for their primitive rights against
gender
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 bias and
prejudice
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prejudiced
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behavior
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behaviour
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.
As a result
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, they deserve more attention and encouragement in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the sport
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 realm to show their abilities. To clarify,
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 events bring numerous opportunities for
women
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 to represent and prove their strength and defeat old stereotypes related to
men
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men's
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 sports.
To conclude
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, the
gender
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 prejudice behind
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 is rooted in our history and it is absolutely an ordeal to change the game
in
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on
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women
Use synonyms
’s side.
Also
Linking Words
,
women
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 need more space to change
this
Linking Words
 perception and validate their potential strength.

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