Some people think that music plays an important role in the society while others believe it’s simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #music #role #society #it’s #form #entertainment

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Music

is a universal language that has been enjoyed by

people

all over the world for centuries. Some

people

believe that

music

is simply a form of entertainment,

while

others believe that it plays a more significant role in

society

. Those who believe that

music

is simply a form of entertainment argue that it is a way to relax and de-stress

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and that it can provide enjoyment and distraction. They may

also

argue that

music

has no intrinsic value

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and that it is not essential for human life. Others believe that

music

plays a more significant role in

society

. They argue that

music

can be used to promote social cohesion, education, social change, and

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

emotional well-being.

For example

music

has been used to protest against war, racism, and other forms of injustice.

Music

can

also

be used to celebrate diversity and promote understanding between different cultures. I believe that

music

plays an important role in

society

, beyond simply providing entertainment.

Music

can be used to bring

people

together, promote social change, enhance our emotional well-being, and educate and inform us.

While

music

can

also

be used for negative purposes,

such

as to promote violence or hatred, I believe that the positive benefits of

music

outweigh the negative.

For example

, the civil rights movement in the United States was heavily influenced by

music

. Songs like "We Shall Overcome" and "Blowin' in the Wind" helped to inspire and unite

people

who were fighting for racial equality.

Music

has

also

been used to raise awareness of important social issues

such

as climate change, poverty, and hunger. Artists like Bono and Alicia Keys have used their

music

to speak out about these issues and to encourage

people

to take action. In conclusion, I believe that

music

is a valuable asset to

society

. It can be used to make a positive impact on our lives in many ways.

Submitted by mmhalr33 on Thu Sep 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

314 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
The number of people considers that the tourists have to adapt to the host country’s traditions and conduct . However, the opponents of this idea maintains that the countries should accept the ethnic practices and personal freedom of those visiting them. I agree with both notions and would like to elaborate my viewpoint.
5
band
It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that students at educational institutions learn better via technology rather than with their teachers. I personally disagree with this viewpoint because learning via teachers is more efffective because it helps students to share their learnings and their assessments get proper evaluation.
7.5
band
Below you have a short written passage about ‘How Banks Work’. Read and understand the passage before writing a summary. The summary should be shorter than the original but still contain all the main information. Remember to use new sentences and vocabulary so that it is different from the original.
The world of banking is a complex and fascinating realm that has long piqued the interest of individuals. At its core, a bank's primary function is to cater to two distinct customer groups: those who wish to save money and those who seek to borrow it. While it is possible for an individual to belong to both categories, understanding the roles of savers and borrowers is crucial in grasping the fundamental operations of a banking system. This essay will argue that the interdependence of savers and borrowers is the backbone of the banking system, with each playing a vital role in the other's financial journey.
5.5
band
In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?
A lot of research and data have mentioned the rise in suicide rates each year among students worldwide is increasing. I believe that to every problem, there must be a solution.
5
band
As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance. Do benefit of this trend outweigh disadvantages?
As global trade is on the rise nowadays, a large number of products including those we utilise in daily basis are made in another country and need to be exported by hundreds of miles. Indeed, everything comes with a price. However, despite the drawbacks it brings about, this movement has positively made great impacts in society.

Some people think that music plays an important role in the society while others believe it’s simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance. Do benefit of this trend outweigh disadvantages?