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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#patterns #access #technology #homes #uk #information #features #comparisons
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The following graph depicts the accessibility of different modern technology items in homes in the UK between 1994 and 2008. Those items include
Use synonyms
CD
Correct article usage
a CD
show examples
 player,
DVD
Use synonyms
 player, mobile phone and Internet connection.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can observe
upward
Add an article
an upward
show examples
 trend in the patterns of access of each item on the illustration. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people had
DVD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 in their household in 2002/03. It made up only around 30%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the item with the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of accessibility was
CD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 with approximately 50% of
users
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2008,
DVD
Use synonyms
players
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 became the most popular technological item, if we take into account that roughly 90% of the population of the UK had it.
Although
Linking Words
, approximately 70% of the English people had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to the Internet connection in 2008. In 1994,
CD
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players
Use synonyms
 were quite popular almost 50% of the population had
it
Correct pronoun usage
one
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, and we can see
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
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increase
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 in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
percentage
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 until 2004/05
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 after we observe
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decrease. The
CD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of almost 90% in 2004/05. The popularity of mobile phones fluctuated until 2002/03. After we can see
Use synonyms
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in its number of
users
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 until 2006/07, which is followed by a slight
increase
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 in 2008. Mobile phones reached a peak of almost 80% in 2008. We can observe a dramatic
increase
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 in the
percentage
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 of
users
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 of
DVD
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players
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 from 2002/03 until 2004/05, followed by a gradual
increase
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 until 2008. The access to the Internet connection follows the same pattern and reaches the highest
pint
Correct your spelling
point
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 of
users
Use synonyms
2008
Change preposition
in 2008
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 with more than 60% of the population of the UK.
Submitted by Ayan on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cd, dvd, percentage, players, users, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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