IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Q. Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problens are associated with this and what are some possible solutions??

Global warming has become a huge concern
to
Change preposition
for
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 human society in recent decades, which
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also
Verb problem
has also
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causes
Wrong verb form
caused
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 the rise
of
Change preposition
in
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 sea levels. I think the main reasons behind
this
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 are excessive emissions from energy industries and private fossil-burning cars.
To begin
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 with, I believe that too much CO2 results in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 greenhouse
that
Check wording
effect that
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 generates global warming.
Therefore
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, eliminating unnecessary CO2 is the key to overcoming the risen temperature.
Firstly
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, the industries that are related to energy usually emit
aggressive
Correct word choice
large
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 amounts of CO2 to the environment because they normally burn coal to produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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power.
For instance
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, the majority of
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
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that is
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 necessary
to
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for
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 households is powered by burning
coal
Punctuation problem
coal,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 generates CO2. Only small parts of electricity are
charged
Verb problem
generated
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 by renewable resources, like wind and nuclear.
Moreover
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, as same as fossil energy, private vehicles usually
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
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 gasoline as a resource that
synthesizes
Verb problem
contributes
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 the greenhouse
air
Check wording
gas emissions
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.
Furthermore
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, burning gasoline not only produces CO2 but
also
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 other harmful materials to the environment.
Overall
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, both of them are culprits of global warming
On the other hand
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, global warming can be alleviated by multiple regulations. First of all, I propose
governments
Correct word choice
that governments
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 encourage the green power business and help the business grow to
popularize
Change the spelling
popularise
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 green power in markets
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 by sponsoring and endowing them with funds.
Additionally
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, governments should increase the cost of coal to stop citizens from buying
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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.
Secondly
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, to limit the number of private fossil-burning cars, the authorities can educate and advertise the threats the earth faces to citizens because of
gasoline-abusing
Use the right word
gasoline abuse
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. Meanwhile, citizens should be informed of the substituted transportation,
such
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 as bikes. In conclusion, despite global warming being severe and challenging to society, I believe humans can conquer it and save sea levels in cooperation by reducing the emissions of CO2.

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organization
Plan your essay with a clear view. State the main idea first, then add points for problems and solutions in order. Use one idea per paragraph.
content
Give more detail to each point and add a simple example about sea levels or policy steps to show how ideas work.
grammar
Use short, correct sentences. Check grammar so the writing is easy to read.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, but keep them simple and natural.
content
You show a clear topic and give both causes and fixes.
structure
There is a clear structure with an intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
You use some linking words to move from one idea to the next.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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