IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people are making new friends by socializing network websites and internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Other people opine that people should make new friends by face to face chat. Discuss both views and given your own opinion.

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With the advancement in technology, it is possible to make friends online.
While
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 some folks argue that it is very useful in terms of distant friendships across the world with no waste of resources, others believe that real friendship is through personal interaction.
This
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 essay will discuss both arguments and give my opinion that face-to-face interaction allows better understanding and helps avoid fake personalities. On the one hand, there are some people supporting the use of social media sites to develop new contacts at home and abroad.These websites enable users to communicate with people from every sphere of life.
For instance
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, we can become familiar with famous personalities like celebrities and politicians with whom we can chat and discuss our views.
In addition
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,
this
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 does not require any consideration of time or money spent on travelling to meet any person.
This
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 means we can talk to our fellows at any time of the day and can ask for help.
On the other hand
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, a large fraction of individuals opine that in order to be good friends, close contact is mandatory.It provides an opportunity to share feelings and experiences in a realistic way because one cannot understand the sentiments of another person on a digital platform.
Moreover
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, face-to-face gossip prevents us from getting trapped by unknown figures, who may have hidden agendas and are using fake identities.Cyber crimes ,
for example
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, have increased tremendously over the
last
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 decade
due to
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 the misuse of social networks.The Federal Investigation Agency of Pakistan receives hundreds of complaints daily regarding financial fraud conducted through online chats and data sharing. In conclusion, there are varied opinions with regard to online friendship with some supporting the idea for the sake of a wider circle of comrades across the globe and for financial reasons.
Whereas
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, many others including myself think that for meaningful contact and in order to protect us from scams, we must have physical communication.

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coherence & cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between your arguments and avoid repetition of ideas within the same paragraph. This will help maintain the reader's interest and strengthen the logical flow of your essay.
task response
For a better task response, try to balance the arguments more evenly. Each viewpoint should be discussed in relatively equal depth to provide a complete and fair analysis.
task response
To improve the clarity of your ideas, consider simplifying complex sentence structures and breaking longer sentences into shorter, more manageable ones. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
coherence & cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a strong frame for the essay. Your stance is clearly stated and revisited, which leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
task response
You have effectively included relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as mentioning the Federal Investigation Agency of Pakistan. This enhances the credibility and relatability of your argument.
task response
Your essay addresses the prompt fully, discussing both views and providing your own opinion. This shows a thorough understanding of the task and ensures a complete response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social networking sites
  • internet chat rooms
  • face-to-face interaction
  • emotional bonding
  • physical presence
  • non-verbal communication
  • geographical limitations
  • accessibility
  • diversity
  • trust-building
  • social anxiety
  • convenience
  • potential for deceit
  • time constraints
  • balanced approach
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