Some people think that man's relationship with animals has changed throughout ages and the use of them in human's life in the modern era is totally different from what it used to be. To what extent do you agree on disagree?

There is evidence to suggest a dramatic shift in the relationship between human and animal species in the industrialized period, and now the purpose of animals in human life changed in comparison with previous times. I firmly agree with
this
statement and I will explain my stance in
this
essay.
To begin
with, perhaps the major factor contributing to
this
phenomenon is the advanced accomplishment in human society.
In particular
, many useful devices were invented by scientists as more scientific breakthroughs were established,
such
as the usage of gasoline engines or jet engines, in diverse spheres.
For example
, nowadays, farmers can fertilise by using a controller drone and harvest food crops by driving an agrimotor with an internal combustion engine.
While
, before the industrialized moment, farmers used buffalos or horses for agricultural purposes.
Additionally
, people now can commute faster and
further
by the metro railway system, compared to going by horse-drawn carriage in the previous.
Furthermore
, with high living standards, people pay more attention to their health and
this
results in a vegetarian phenomenon in the world leading to more citizens now feeling better after a period of a meat-free diet.
In contrast
, many people consider meat as an indispensable source in almost all meals, and they usually prefer eating wildlife animal meats in earlier times.
Besides
, many animal species are now protected by law, and hunting them is illegal.
Lastly
, but more importantly, a large number of species now have become domesticated and plenty of them have become human companions.
Consequently
, the emerging trend of fostering pets,
such
as dogs or cats, become popular in the human community, and the elite class usually loves owning a wildlife giant cat because
this
rare wildlife will express their social status and financial ability.
To conclude
, the purpose and the relationship of animals for humans changed drastically through the industrialized moment, as humans used machines rather than animals and moved to a vegetarian diet.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task with a clear stance on how the relationship between humans and animals has changed. Ensure all arguments are strongly supported by specific examples to enhance the explanation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body, and conclusion clearly identified. Make sure to maintain coherence by ensuring all ideas within paragraphs are connected smoothly.
supported main points
While the main points are generally well-supported, some arguments could benefit from more detailed examples. Examples like the usage of specific technologies in farming or the rise of vegetarianism globally could be elaborated further.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets the context and stance for the essay, which is well-aligned with the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has well-defined paragraphs, including a strong introduction and conclusion, ensuring all parts are present and logically structured.
supported main points
Relevant examples, such as the use of drones and agricultural machinery, are provided to support the main points, though these could be more detailed.
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