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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many parts of the world, people search for family history. Some people think that finding for the previous generations is a thing to do, but others think that it is better to be focus on present and future generations. Discuss both views and show your opinion

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From around the world, there are lots of
people
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 who tend to find the mystery of their ancestors and consider it a necessary action.
However
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, others believe that it is more beneficial to focus on today and
future
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generations
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.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both points and give
further
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 comments. On the one hand, it is admitted that learning what happened in the past is an important thing to do. By understanding the family's history,
people
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 can appreciate the achievements that the previous
generations
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 have made to build their lives today.
For example
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, many countries in Asia have a culture of worshipping their ancestors to show their gratefulness for the work that has formed their family's background.
Therefore
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, it is obviously significant to search for the family tree.
On the other hand
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, nowadays generation and those in the
future
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 are
also
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 in need of attention. These
generations
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 will be the ones who continue
the
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their
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 existence
as well as
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 the development of society. If
people
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 choose to live in the past
instead
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 of focusing on the present, basic needs for children
such
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 as education and nurture might be overlooked.
Thus
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,
people
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 should
also
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 pay their concentrate to their children to raise them to be better
people
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 in the
future
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. In my view point, knowing what happened in the family's past is important, but it is even more important to focus on today's generation and the ones in the
future
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. As the world keeps moving forward,
people
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 should put their minds in the present rather than looking back in time. Because of that,
people
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 should be aware of balancing both of the activities so that the ancestors can be remembered and the children can be raised carefully.
To conclude
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, is it necessary to focus on the previous
generations
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as well as
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 the ones in the present and
future
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.
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?
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 The past should be known and remembered, and the
future
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 should be kept growing.

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task achievement
In the introduction, you might want to clarify the two views more explicitly and state your position clearly. This would provide a stronger foundation for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has clear topic sentences that directly relate to the points being discussed. This will enhance readability.
task achievement
Consider providing a few more specific examples or anecdotes in support of your points, especially in the body paragraphs. This would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable and reflects a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs, is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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