IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #access #information #libraries
In the digital century
internet
 is approved to access easily all facilities which are needed and some people think that
libraries
 can no longer play an essential role in society.
While
 I accept
internet
 currently occupies all sides of human life, I would argue that
libraries
 are the most necessary factor in human development. It is evident that e-
books
 are considered a convenient use that readers don’t have to go to
libraries
 to spend time and money.
However
 ,
initially
Add a comma
initially,
show examples
 all
books
 written by writers are found in
libraries
. They only announce the results or surveys about
books
 on the
internet
.
For instance
, academic authors can get their works published and delivered to
libraries
.
Furthermore
,
libraries
 are substantially ambience. Most students state that
libraries
 are quiet and comfortable places for studying or making projects be handled by their tutors owing that they are not distracted during their trips there.
According to
 a poll in 2020, in the Oxford ,university two third students claimed that their projects achieved success resulting in
libraries
. Meanwhile, the
internet
 is a place where you can easily write or publish something without any restrictions. So some articles written by some people on the
internet
 can be unreliable rather to
books
 in the library. Because the staff in the library are responsible for selecting and providing readers with appropriate
books
 or information. Needless to say, online networks are not able to ensure
this
 responsibility. In conclusion, traditional
books
 are thought more credible than online
books
.
Hence
 the fact that they still outweigh e-
books
 and
libraries
 never lose their necessity for improving the evolution of human beings.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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task achievement
It is essential to address the task directly; your essay does touch on the relevance of libraries despite the ease of accessing information online. However, your position should be clearer and more directly stated with supporting arguments systematically integrated throughout. Aim to present a more focused thesis statement early in your essay.
coherence cohesion
For a more logical structure, organize your ideas clearly into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs can help to clarify the relationship between your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each main point is adequately supported by specific examples or evidence. The examples provided require more development and direct relevance to the central claim. Illustrations from wider sources or clearer factual information can strengthen the argument's persuasive power. Avoid broad generalizations where detailed support is needed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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