Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reality #tool #interventions #health #treatments

Emerging technologies in healthcare are improving patient care.

Similarly

, Virtual

reality

is an effective instrument for treating psychological disorders and curative interventions. I fully agree with the above statement as it is a highly reliable, accessible and cost-effective therapy. Mental

health

is a serious concern these days and virtual

reality

is a blessing to treat

this

because of the benefits it

has offered

Wrong verb form

offers

show examples

Firstly

this

technology is widely accessible and patients can be treated and monitored at a distance.

For instance

according to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research in 2011 patients with phobia are not required to visit the hospital any more as Virtual

reality

can be set up at home too, which will eliminate the clinical stigma for mental illness.

Consequently

, the patient would be motivated to be treated for their mental illness

instead

of being ashamed.

Secondly

, the cost-effectiveness of

this

innovative technology is another factor that has made it a therapeutic tool for both the patient and the hospital. Mental

health

treatment is often expensive,

whereas

virtual

reality

is cheaper. It helps the clinical settings to lower the expenditure

Change preposition

show examples

medicine and other

equipments

Correct your spelling

equipment

Likewise

, the patients do have not to spend much money on their treatment as it is cheaper than traditional therapies.

Consequently

, people with low financial capacity can have effective care of their mental

health

. In conclusion, virtual

reality

is an innovation with therapeutic and improved mental illness treatment. The use of virtual

reality

will motivate the psychologically ill individual to access mental

health

services comfortably and will lower the cost of expensive treatments.

Submitted by kaurjaspreet7979 on Fri Sep 15 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?