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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons?Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages??

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It was a hot trend when
people
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 tended to travel to other
countries
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 to discover the different issues in their country.
However
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, it is becoming more and more alike to those which are metropolises.
This
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 essay will explore the
reasons
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 behind
this
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 phenomenon and in my opinion,
this
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 issue brings more benefits than drawbacks and the
reasons
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 will be discussed as follows. It is possibly said that there are two main
reasons
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 leading to
this
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 change.
Firstly
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, globalization impacts on change of cities over the world. It is because.
People
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's needs for communication, economy, and education are increasing quickly. The implication of
this
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 is impulsing technology development which can help individuals in the world to be closer, and even they are able to learn the lifestyles of each other.
Secondly
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, the economic competition among the nations is inevitable.
This
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 can be seen in developing
countries
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,
governments
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where governments
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 usually invest and upgrade cities having good conditions
such
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 as mountains and rivers in order to attract foreign tourists.
As a result
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, they use that money from those who are foreign visitors to develop their country. I strongly believe that the merits of alteration overshadow its downsides.
To begin
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 with, it draws attention to other
countries
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 around the world.
Due to
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 technology and media development, there is an increasing number of
people
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 becoming aware. A prime example of
this
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 point is Toronto City in Canada, which is
a
Change the article
the
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 strongest city in economy and education. Through that, many
people
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 from developing
countries
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 have to come to work and settle down in Toronto.
Besides
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, language barriers can be dispensable. In developed
countries
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,
people
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 tend to study new languages with each other.
For example
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, Canada, France, and China are developed nations. If
people
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 decide to study abroad or live in those, they must learn new languages like English, French, and Chinese.
Hence
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, they can communicate with indigenous
people
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 comfortably. In conclusion, globalization and economic competition are two main
reasons
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 leading to be same cities in different
countries
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. From my perspective,
this
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 change
is
Verb problem
has
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 more pros than cons

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task response
While the essay addresses the task and provides reasons and examples, ensuring that all ideas are well-explained and providing more specific examples would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a logical structure, working on a clearer development of ideas within paragraphs would enhance coherence. Additionally, avoiding repetition and maintaining a smooth flow would improve cohesion.
language
Avoid using fragmented sentences and ensure each sentence is complete to improve clarity.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
content
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides relevant points and examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural assimilation
  • multinational companies
  • technological advancement
  • transferable
  • homogenization
  • international visitors
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • architectural styles
  • public spaces
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural exchange
  • local identity
  • diversity
  • cultural homogenization
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