The graph below shows the percentage changes in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.

The graph below shows the percentage changes in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.
The graph presents information about how many numbers of
students
in percentages, international
students
graduated, from universities around Canadian
provinces
, between 2001 and 2006. All in all. It is obvious that in all
provinces
, many
students
finished their studies in 2016, except
Alberta
.
However
, in 2002 all eight
provinces
had lower than
2006
Change preposition
in 2006
show examples
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduates
show examples
students
. excluding
Alberta
. In 2006, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
three top highest positions, where the number of
students
in these areas was over 10 per
cent
. They are British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick; meanwhile, Ontario
Alberta
released just under 6 per
cent
of
students
who graduated from their universities, these areas had the least graduated
students
in 2006. If we compare to 2002, there were three areas that had the highest number of graduations from universities above 6 per
cent
, they are New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Quebec; meanwhile, the rest had just under 6 per
cent
and above 4 per
cent
, the
provinces
were
Alberta
, British Columbia, Monita, Newfoundland and Labrador and Ontario.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, provinces, alberta, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: