IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

public libraries provide a large collection of books to read. Some people argue that they should also provide other hi-tech facilities like computer,internet,CDs,DVDs. do u agree or disagree with the statement?

#libraries #collection #books #people #facilities #computer #internet #cds #dvds
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I fully agree with the statement that public
libraries
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 should provide modern technologies. It could make reading and learning much easier and more interesting for people from different groups of ages. Old-style
libraries
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 which contain only books can't exist any longer. Different age groups have different needs.
For example
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, students could spend more time in
libraries
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 which have computers, because most classes nowadays use technology to make the education process better.
Also
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, sometimes it's hard to find any kind of information in books and it's much longer than just to use programming search.
On the other hand
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, we have retired old people, who could have some types of problems that make it hard for them to read books or even go to the library. So, for them, those
libraries
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 could provide new services, like audiobooks or online borrowing. I believe that the bigger part of individuals prefer to stay home rather than to go somewhere. Another reason is the rise of online services that made public
libraries
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 ineffective.
As a result
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,
libraries
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 become unpopular and look more like book storage. Most
libraries
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 are sponsored by the government and if they don't do their main function they should be closed. Except the historical
libraries
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 which keep the atmosphere of old times. They shouldn't be changed, to become monumental places and a part of history. In summary, the given statement is surely reliable and all new opportunities should be added to modern public
libraries
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. They have a mission to provide knowledge to people, so all those hi-tech facilities must be used for better results.
Submitted by cryptofarmboy on

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task response
The essay provides clear ideas and examples to support the argument. However, some points are not fully developed and could benefit from further explanation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical flow of ideas could be improved. Work on linking ideas and ensuring a more cohesive structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary and uses appropriate language to express ideas clearly. Consider varying word choice and exploring more advanced vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
There are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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