The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

#shops #country

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The provided diagram indicate the amounts of store that closed and opened in one country in 2011 and 2018.

Overall

Linking Words

, for most of the period, the number of closing

stores

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was higher than that of new

stores

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In addition

Linking Words

, Those of closing

stores

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and new

stores

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considerably fluctuated throughout the period. In 2011, the figure for

shop

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openings

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stood at around 8500. In 2012, that of

shop

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openings

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plunged to almost 4000 before increasing to nearly 6000 in 2014. Meanwhile,

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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Change preposition

apply

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shop

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closures

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oscillated between 2011 and 2014. In 2014, the number of

shop

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closures

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was higher than that of

shop

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openings

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, which was close to 6000. In 2015, that of

shop

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closures

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reached its lowest point at about 500, being less than that of

shop

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openings

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, with around 4000, before surging to roughly 5000 in 2016. In 2016 and 2018, that of

shop

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closures

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vacillated, and it was more than that of

shop

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openings

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in 2018, with approximately 5000.

Also

Linking Words

, In 2018,

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shop

Use synonyms

openings

Use synonyms

hit rock bottom at close to 3000.

Submitted by ccaa785412dd on Fri Sep 15 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words stores, shop, openings, closures with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

175 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

trend
fluctuation
peak
decline
surge
stabilize
correlation
economic conditions
consumer behavior
technological advancements
urban development
employment
retail sector

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The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

You have heard that your company is organising a language training abroad for a limited number of participants. Write a letter of interest state your position in the company explain why they should include you in the training Explain how training could benefit you and your company.

childhood obesity has now becoming more and more popular

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?