Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in societ of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it important for children to make decisions about matters affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There have been
conflict
Change the verb form
conflicting
conflicted

It appears that the verb conflict should be in a participle form for the present perfect continuous tense. Consider changing the verb form.

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views about whether a child should decide on their daily concerns
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as clothes they will wear or food they will eat.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some people think that it is important to let children
to
Change the verb form
apply

It appears that the verb to decide should be in the bare infinitive form. Consider removing to from in front of this verb.

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decide on their own,
others
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that they will become
Add an article
a self-centered
the self-centered

The noun phrase self-centered person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred

The spelling of self-centered is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people

It seems that person may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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who just
care
Change the verb form
cares

The plural verb care does not appear to agree with the singular subject self-centered person. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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their
Change preposition
about their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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own wishes. In my opinion, they should be given some freedom to make choices but there must be a limit. On
one
Correct article usage
the one

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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side, there are people who believe
childrens
Correct your spelling
children

It appears that the noun childrens is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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should not decide by
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves

The word theirselves doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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because they think they will raise as a person who will not care
other
Change preposition
about other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people’s opinions. These individuals may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

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lack
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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responsibility toward
others
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and cannot make
sacrifice
Fix the agreement mistake
sacrifices

It seems that sacrifice may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
greater
Add an article
the greater

The noun phrase greater good seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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good.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they become a person who cannot compromise which may lead to conflicts throughout their lifetime. On the other side, some believe that it is significant for a child to decide on everyday matters. They think that it will enhance
child’s
Correct article usage
the child’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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decision-making skills and promote independence.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they think that children will build up
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence

It appears that self confidence is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and freedom to express themselves.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, children who are allowed to make their own choices may have a better understanding of the consequences of their actions. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In my opinion. Consider adding a comma.

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it is so essential to let
childrens
Correct your spelling
children

It appears that the noun childrens is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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decide on everyday matters with certain limitations.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

childeren
Correct your spelling
children

If you don’t want childeren to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need

It seems that the verb needs does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to understand the importance of responsibility toward society and compromise with
others
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essential to understand their identity,
Correct word choice
and develeo
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develeo
Correct your spelling
develop

If you don’t want develeo to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence

It appears that self confidence is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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for their adult life. In conclusion, is it essential
let
Fix the infinitive
to let

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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a child decide by themselves on everyday matters? Some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb argued. Consider changing it.

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that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads

It seems that the verb lead does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to self-centredness the
others
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is important for their growth. I strongly believe that it is important
to
Change preposition
for to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children’s be allowed to decide on their own within a reasonable limit to promote both
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence

It appears that self confidence is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of responsibility.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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