Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

#people #college #university #career #path #work #gain #school

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In today's society , There is

on going

Correct your spelling

ongoing

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debate regarding

choice

Add an article

the choice

show examples

between entering

workforce

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the workforce

show examples

continue

Wrong verb form

continuing

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to study in college or

university

Use synonyms

after high school. some people believe that studying

further

Linking Words

has more advantages

while

Linking Words

others argue against that.

This

Linking Words

essay will

further

Linking Words

elaborate

both

Change preposition

on both

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sides and will reach to conclusion. On one side ,

chose

Wrong verb form

choosing

show examples

to work after high school has many merits

such

Linking Words

as practical experience and

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

skills. If

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

opt

Change the verb form

opts

show examples

to enter in

worklife

Correct your spelling

work life

they can gain more experience

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show examples

teamwork, management and

aome

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some

home

technical skills.

In addition

Linking Words

, people start

earing

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earning

show examples

money at

young

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a young

show examples

age they become more independent and it

boost

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boosts

show examples

their confidence.

Also

Linking Words

, they can learn to manage their money and time

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they can achieve their possible goals sooner.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Attending

university

Use synonyms

or college is

also

Linking Words

a wise choice. To commence with,

Correct your spelling

show examples

offers significant income. Professional workers gain higher salaries than those who are working without any structured training.

For example

Linking Words

, Doctors and engineers

has

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have

show examples

higher income

inspite

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in spite

of they work fewer hours

comapre

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compare

compared

to other workers because of their education.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

provides

in depth

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in-depth

show examples

knowledge in any field.

Hence

Linking Words

opportunity

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the opportunity

an opportunity

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for employment increases. Another point is that the social position of

educated

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the educated

show examples

individual is considerably high as everyone respect them. To recapitulate, by agglomerating all the points aforementioned above one can reach to conclusion that , working straight after completing high school has its own benefits like

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

experience.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

I believe opting

studying

Change the verb form

to study

show examples

further

Linking Words

in college or

university

Use synonyms

provides numerous advantages to individuals.

Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on Fri Sep 15 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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I am Sarah. I live in Canada. I want to studying your training course and I do not know any information about the course. I am sure you can help me.

Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

Nowadays, some countries are spending a lot of money to make it easier to use bicycle. Why is this? Is it the best solution to transport problem?

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Dear Madam, I am Sarah. I live in Canada. I want to studying your training course and I do not know any information about the course. I am sure you can help me.