Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 254 words.

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In the age of technology and development, it becomes impossible to abandon social networking sites. Some people think that media coverage of famous

persons

Replace the word

people

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is having a disadvantageous impact on children,

while

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others differ on

this

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matter. I completely agree that kids may be influenced by their favourite bloggers, and I will be discussing my point of view more in

this

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essay.

Firstly

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, since we were kids, we used to have a special person to act like, and to love.

Moreover

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, platforms today affect youngsters and teenagers more than before, through the videos they display and their memes.

Therefore

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, with these actions , the child just wants to become like his or her idol.

For instance

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, when they go to school, all they need is to get the attention of all students.

Secondly

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, teen boys or girls will be lazy in everything, especially in studying,

that is

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because they clearly can see their celebrities gaining money and success without education.

Apart from

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this

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according to

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the BBC News statistics, 70% of young age groups spend overtime on screens.

consequently

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this

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leads to wasted time and early health problems. In conclusion, whether you are young or an adult, websites have negative and positive impacts. The programs must be beneficial.

Instead

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of posting dump things, what about sharing the struggle of the celebrities,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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might encourage individuals to work harder to be like them

Change the punctuation

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We must know who we are following, in order not to affect us negatively, parents always should monitor their children's behaviour.

Hence

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, be smart and a proper user.

shireen.asadiTue Nov 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has an adequate logical structure overall, but transitions between ideas could be smoother for enhanced readability.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, but make sure that they clearly outline the main points and summarise the argument.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific and varied examples. This will strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The response to the task is relevant and the main idea is clear, but the focus should remain consistently on how the media coverage specifically affects children negatively.

task achievement

Develop ideas more comprehensively by exploring the impact of media on children in more depth. This could include psychological, social, or educational effects.

task achievement

Provide more concrete, specific examples to support your points. Use studies, statistics, or anecdotal evidence to enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some people hold the view that a good teacher is more important for education success while others think the student’s attitude is more important to succeed in education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.