IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #towns #malls
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Some individuals argue that it is better to include more
parks
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 and
leisure
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facilities
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 in new cities, rather than just
houses
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 and shopping malls. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, nowadays, many towns have developed
,
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apply
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 and built a lot of
houses
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.
As a result
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, numerous people move to those areas so they want to spend time with their families
as well as
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 friends.
Moreover
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, they buy a car and drive every day, which leads to air pollution. But, if a town has the majority of
parks
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 and
leisure
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 furnishings, it can reduce air pollution.
For example
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, in South Korea, some towns were developed recently and they made more gardens and convenience
facilities
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.
Consequently
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, many people want to live there, because the air is so fresh and they can play with their families and friends.
In addition
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, most folks like nature more than the past communities because modern nations think about their health.
Therefore
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, building more public estate and recreation
facilities
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 is better for them.
On the other hand
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, we must construct more homes and shopping markets. In the present day, some places have been developed and plenty of jobs created so most individuals move to the new town.
However
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, if there is a lack of residence, it leads to rising house costs and numerous people will suffer.
Furthermore
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, if there is no shopping mall, they must go to other cities, which is a disadvantage for them.
For instance
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, in South Korea, in Seoul, because of a lack of housing, many folks suffer and in certain areas, there is no market far from that place
hence
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 they have to go to other places.
For
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this
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 reason, we should build more
houses
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 and shopping malls as much as
parks
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 and
leisure
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facilities
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. In conclusion, I partially agree with
this
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 topic. we should build more
parks
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 and
leisure
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facilities
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as well as
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houses
Use synonyms
 and shopping malls.
Submitted by livewire53 on

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