Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?

#people #health #service #companies #private-health #care

Due to

the rising awareness of health quality, the demands of seeking

healthcare

treatments are increased, leading to the expansion of medical services supply. Despite the argument of whether corporate-run

healthcare

should provide clinical care or not, I believe these companies create more benefits than disadvantages. On the one hand, profit-driven

healthcare

brings a challenge in accessing and affording health-related support to patients.

For example

, the fee for a dental check-up and teeth cleaning in a private dental clinic is VND600,000, which is twice as expensive compared to the governmental hospital. In Vietnam, the government offers public health insurance for VND700,000 per year, allowing clients to pay only around 20% of the value of their medical bills.

This

has opened up opportunities for individuals to have

healthcare

services.

Nevertheless

, private

healthcare

companies are considered to create significant benefits.

Firstly

, it helps to reduce waiting time when patients go to have a medical evaluation. In the public medical system,

due to

a large number of clients having their clinical examination, the process of queueing, diagnostics testing, and receiving medication takes a long waiting time.

While

fewer people choose to make an appointment in a private hospital, leading to the medical examination process is more efficient.

Furthermore

, because of the advances in facilities and infrastructures, private

healthcare

provides health-related assistance depending on individuals' demands and circumstances.

This

employs more accommodation for patients who need in-depth evaluation and personalized health care. In conclusion, the cost of private-sector

healthcare

brings difficulties in accessibility and affordability the treatment opportunities.

However

, its impacts on satisfying customers' needs and efficiency in loading tasks outweigh its drawbacks.

Submitted by mtri28899 on Sat Sep 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas are logically presented.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider range of linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow and coherence of ideas.

lexical resource

Maintain a consistent level of formality and precision in word choice. Additionally, aim to use more varied vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.

grammatical range

Work on the accuracy and complexity of sentence structures. Ensure the proper use of punctuation marks and varied sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. However, others believe that schools are the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own thoughts.

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many people choose to educate children at home by themselves instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?