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Band 7.5

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?

#people #health #service #companies #private-health #care
Due to
 the rising awareness of health quality, the demands of seeking
healthcare
 treatments are increased, leading to the expansion of medical services supply. Despite the argument of whether corporate-run
healthcare
 should provide clinical care or not, I believe these companies create more benefits than disadvantages. On the one hand, profit-driven
healthcare
 brings a challenge in accessing and affording health-related support to patients.
For example
, the fee for a dental check-up and teeth cleaning in a private dental clinic is VND600,000, which is twice as expensive compared to the governmental hospital. In Vietnam, the government offers public health insurance for VND700,000 per year, allowing clients to pay only around 20% of the value of their medical bills.
This
 has opened up opportunities for individuals to have
healthcare
 services.
Nevertheless
, private
healthcare
 companies are considered to create significant benefits.
Firstly
, it helps to reduce waiting time when patients go to have a medical evaluation. In the public medical system,
due to
 a large number of clients having their clinical examination, the process of queueing, diagnostics testing, and receiving medication takes a long waiting time.
While
 fewer people choose to make an appointment in a private hospital, leading to the medical examination process is more efficient.
Furthermore
, because of the advances in facilities and infrastructures, private
healthcare
 provides health-related assistance depending on individuals' demands and circumstances.
This
 employs more accommodation for patients who need in-depth evaluation and personalized health care. In conclusion, the cost of private-sector
healthcare
 brings difficulties in accessibility and affordability the treatment opportunities.
However
, its impacts on satisfying customers' needs and efficiency in loading tasks outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by mtri28899 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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